Russia
by AyaplusBeat
Summary: Russia had always been twisted, much to America's discretion. Then why did he start a pointless challenge over who was more peaceful again? Oneshot. Russia-centric. Slight Ivan/Alfred if you squint.


_AN: To my loves, Shlee-The-Klutzy-Plushie and Cherri-Ai, this is for you. That, and I simply **adore** a demented Russia running rampant in the universe; I will always want to become one with you D:  
__Also, this is my first Hetalia fic, so if there seems to be major OoC please let me know. Thanks!_

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_It's a dead man's party, who could ask for more?  
__Everybody's comin', leave your body at the door  
__Leave your body and soul at the door . . .  
[Don't run away it's only me…] _

_'Dead Man's Party'- Oingo Boingo_

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Wars, wars, and more wars. All the defiantly selective countries found something to batter about leading to more destruction than that of peace.

Russia had always loved peace. Peace to oneself , and peace to one's whole with everything around them. Wasn't his fault that everyone else saw his peace as backhanded and spiteful. Just because his boss saw democracy as one person being a candidate, then voted for, and the elected with no competition didn't mean he was any peace loving than the rest.

It also wasn't his fault he wished he could take little Poland, hold him by his beautiful golden locks, and bash the boy with that rusty fragment of pipe allowing brains and other bodily containments of the head to flow out.

And, oh. Lithuania, Lithuania, how he could just feel his skin burning up as Russia would proceed to pour an array of hot,_ boiling_, oils all over him making him scream in agony.

No, Russia fully believed he was a true person of peace.

"Hah! I'd like to see that! The way you were spying on me like that one time back…umm …then!" America shouted across the now empty conference room hyperactively. "I bet you were trying to find ways to rip my skin off, eat me, burn me, smack me around, or any of the latter at once!"

"KolKolKolKolKolKol, "Russia merely replied--or didn't reply-- at America smiling his famous seemingly sweet grin at him.

"I'm the most peaceful one ever because I'm a hero! And not just **any** hero, but _**The **_Hero!"

America had started the argument during Frances rant at Germany for stealing fine wines and dishes for miscellaneous deeds most likely concerning Italy who was sitting at the far end of the table.

"--And the Hero is always friendly, and kind, and wonderful, and generous, and happy, and heroic, and marvelously entertaining, and with the best food ever, and---," America always prattled didn't he? It made Russia wonder what kind of things flew out of the boy's mouth when it was just England.

Probably not good things, considering the open fact they quarreled all the time.

He didn't ever have to fuss Poland or Lithuania. Both always complied with his wishes, and to theirs on occasion. Personally, this current argument with the States didn't hold any value what so ever, for America wasn't that of Russia's kind at the moment.

"Hey?! Aren't you listening!?" America demanded, standing up dynamically.

Russia smiled at him even wider. America was cute when he wanted to be, "Does America want to be one with me?"

"EH?! What does that have to do with this? See, see?! You do want to torment me!" More dynamics, busting around fretfully. He was always full of dramatic display.

But either way Russia picked up chanting again innocently as if he didn't say anything at all.

If America did become one with Russia, he mused at what kind of faults that America truly had.

_Maybe he enjoyed being cut. Slowly and delicately; affectionately and passionately._

"Due to your silence, I take that you do!"

"KolKolKolKolKolKolKolKolKol…it's a lovely day today." That it was. Very bright in America's land. Bright made him quite happy. "It snow's too much."

Alternatively, maybe America would prefer to be chilled awake. Wide-awake and naked under ice where Russia could watch the cold give him frostbite.

"You're country doesn't snow much does it?"

The other boy suddenly looked perplexed, "Err …umm …maybe. Sometimes it does. What does this have to do with anything still…?"

"KolKolKolKolKolKolKolKolKolKolKolKolKol."

"…"

Aw, now America was twitching. Russia certainly liked a twitching America; it was so similar to Lithuania. Only less erratic and lots more tense.

"G-gah! I am trying to be so neutral with you! But you're so scary. How does China handle you?!"

How does China handle him? China never handled him before that Russia ever recalled. China did no more than sit and stare back at him exactly as if America was now. In turn, China was a better at understanding him than America ,not to mention China was also one of his kind in the first place.

Russia had very well studied China like a book for the most part. Definitely not the physical type. China was the pick to be labeled various names, given twisted utopias, and the wrong definition with this and that.

However, even then China was too smart for emotional trickery.

"Hellooooooo~?"

"Hehe."

"…" America sat down finally, all the while still peeved, and still having a twitch fest staring at Russia. "I never knew I'd miss England so much…" came followed by more dynamical movement and fidgeting.

England. Russia was unfamiliar with England just as much as he currently was with America. But he enjoyed America far better than the Brit. As greatly as UK was lively, he was too up kept and well rounded for teasing. Not unwavering for any sort of play.

"Cause he's so damn annoying. Nag, nag, nag, all that idiot does." Hn, America sure could talk a storm if he so wished it. If Russia weren't please by it, he'd be sure to wrap the boy's mouth with duck tape.

Oh, ripping it off sure would be fun. "And, and, and~, he never treats me as an equal! Just because I'm smaller and younger, and--"

Perhaps he'd merely wrap duck tape around America's wrists and ankles, tied up and contorted, left to speak freely. Rarely did he get the ability to hear such broad speech by himself.

"Yes. I correct myself. I do not miss that vexatious person. This hero has no side kick!" Did the boy forget he was there? Oh well…

He was the one who stood this time, walking around the conference table and chairs to America's seat. Craning his head to the side he patted America's wheat locks in a docile manner. "Do you like sunflowers?"

Both acts made America shiver; forget twitching. It was apparent he was uncomfortable--lushly uncomfortable--, giving Russia an extra need to smile bigger.

"Err…yea…I'd suppose I enjoy sun flowers along side snow…Russia?" He gulped.

"I hate snow as much as I'd wish Japan's islands would sink away to nothing. I love sunflowers like I enjoy seeing Belarus singing when she's tying someone up to chair at dinner time." His fingers were now curling into America's hair, slightly pulling at the roots, "KolKolKolKolKolKolKolKolKol."

In return, America's breathing grew heavy with shivers. Russia loved these kinds of reactions, and taking in the sight he certainly knew that America was afraid of where of this was going. How cute.

"Does America hate Japan too?" The grip on he had on America's hair loosened for a moment.

"That depends…Hehe…" he stuttered in reply.

"How?" The grip now tightened just enough to cause a small sting.

"…Eh…" Sweat drops drizzled down America's face including a new wave of shivers. "Only when…well…when Japan is being stubborn like he is now…"

Russia took up his idle hand in order to curve it around America's neck, caressing it across the bare opening of skin.

He did not like war. Probably better than snow and Japan combined. It ruined his time to adore what he loved doing. Love was peaceful, so he was peaceful. What he did with Poland and Lithuania was out of love in his rules and of them to behave. Sometimes just because he solely was fond of them. So he loved to beat them. It was his peace. All the more peaceful he would be.

"Will America be stubborn too?" Light touches were pressing now, directly at the core of America's throat. Any harder and he wouldn't be able to breath. Another thing Russia inclined towards. "I prefer you, _Alfred_, when you are rude and obnoxious over being stubborn. There is no stubbornness between two countries at Peace."

"I-I s-see…t-then you a-are making p-peace with m-me, --_kph_." Russia presumably began choking the tender trachea under his palm.

"Yes, and we shall be good friends. Including the time we become one."

"_Kph_- _Keh_. Still o-on t-that?"

Russia plastered a grin this time rather than his voided smile, letting go off the other's throat to allow him air. It wasn't fun if it wasn't mocking in some way. Moreover to this, Russia analyzed that America, Alfred, was the choking type. Next time he'd be sure to bring along a nice piece of rope.

"I'm glad for you're challenge Alfred. I know you better now. Lots better." Russia turned from Alfred's frozen form leaving the room, "At the next meeting lets show our peace together. Don't worry what they think either; its not like I run a dead man's party."_ Or do I?_

_Fin._


End file.
